Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
