If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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