Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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