Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
