I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
