Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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