He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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