i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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