You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
