oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
