goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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