a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
