Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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