swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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