note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
