do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
