I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
