im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
