I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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