When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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