I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Randomize
