i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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