Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
