He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I cut my penus on the lid.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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