Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
