Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I want her autograph on my taint
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
