seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize