idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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