nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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