Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
