TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
