I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
