Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize