sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
