The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
