Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
