right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
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