Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
