i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
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