Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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