Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
