i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
