There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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