soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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