Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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