Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
