i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
