Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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