There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
