I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
