hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
it was like eating out sand paper
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
